


It Started with a Donut

by pickyhandshake



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Bullying, Flashbacks, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I swear I'm not a furry but I get it now, Minor Violence, Nick and Judy are best buds, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, after the events of zootopia, because let's be real the thing with the muzzles needs to be addressed, but I got nothing against rhinos, ft. donuts, gratuitous making up more of Nick's backstory, mentions of prejudice, not romantic just bffls, rhinos are mean in this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:37:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6200947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickyhandshake/pseuds/pickyhandshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Nick! Are you alright?"<br/>“Judy…what just happened?” Nick tried to raise himself up and winced, sinking back down. “Is this guy dangerous? Do we need to call this into the station?”<br/>“Call – what? Oh,” comprehension dawned on Judy’s face. “He was specifically targeting you.” An uncharacteristic snarl flooded her features as she shot a dark look behind her.</p>
<p>Nick learns the hard way that there are still some who believe predators to be dangerous and when a fox is seen with a rabbit, the fox comes off as a threat. </p>
<p>Prompt: Basically, Nick is just goofing off with Judy, but someone takes it seriously and attacks him, thinking that she was in danger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It Started with a Donut, aka, I Too Watched Zootopia and Became Obsessed 
> 
> Prompt: Basically, Nick is just goofing off with Judy, but someone takes it seriously and attacks him, thinking that she was in danger because he is a fox and she is a bunny.
> 
> Good ole H/C and fluff. Might be expanded to incorporate more of Nick's backstory and stuff!

“Wilde,” Nick said as he stepped up to the counter. The baker behind the counter, a tan kangaroo, peered at her clipboard for a moment before reaching for a box behind her.

 

“One order of assorted donuts for ‘Wilde’,” she nodded, sliding the box over in his direction. “Have a good day, sir!”

 

 “Likewise,” Nick replied politely, grabbing the box and making his way out of the bakery. The sweet smell of confections wafted up from the box, mixing with the fresh spring air as he stepped outside.

 

He was looking forward to this. The donuts were going to be a surprise for Judy after she came off shift – in about fifteen minutes or so – and a tasty bribe to Clawhauser, who wasn’t technically supposed to let Nick inside the station quite yet.

 

It was his day off. Nick was supposed to be ‘resting up’ from a minor injury after a case he and Judy had solved last week. It was a simple case that ended with a chase through the streets of Zootopia, with Nick on foot in one direction and Judy in the cop car in the other. They managed to corner the culprit, a skittish antelope who simply screamed ‘shady’ the moment they had laid eyes on him. When they eventually cornered him, the antelope had professed to his crimes, as well as admitted that each notch in his horns represented a bank he had robbed.

 

However, while the case itself was cut and dry, the chase went a little awry. Nick and Judy had successfully cornered the antelope, but in one last desperate bid for freedom the culprit had dashed upwards, hoping to jump over the smaller Judy. Nick had seen that he had miscalculated, and one of his hooves would have come crashing into Judy’s head had Nick not thrown himself forward at last minute, sending both him and Judy sliding down the street. In the process, he had scraped up his knee – it was nothing, really, but Chief Bogo had made him take the day off to let it heal.

 

The antelope in question had seen his mistake, and how close he had come to injuring Judy. In his horror, he had given Nick extra time to dust himself off and pounce on his hind legs, Judy only seconds behind with her handcuffs.

 

The silly antelope had probably been afraid of hitting a cute rabbit. _And Judy complains that her ‘cute bunny’ look never helped her,_ Nick thought with amusement as he turned the corner to the station. Yet quiet anger was still smoldering in between the success of the case. The antelope could have really hurt his partner.

 

As Nick walked, he spotted a bird walking down the street opposite him, wing in wing with her daughter. As he passed them, he noticed in the corner of his eye the mother hen tighten her grip on her daughter’s feathers, scooting to leave more room between Nick and her. Nick was surprised, realizing he had almost forgotten how blatant some animals’ prejudice was in Zootopia. After wearing a police uniform most of the time he was out and about, he had started to become accustomed to animals regarding him with respect and less with suspicion. Nick suddenly felt bare without his badge and wished he hadn’t had to wear his casual clothes out, although just yesterday he had been complaining – albeit good naturedly – to Judy about missing his loose green tee.

 

Finally, Nick made it to the police station. As the station doors slid open he rifled through his pants pocket with one hand, balancing the box of donuts with his other. Glancing at the screen, he saw he had timed things perfectly, and Judy would be off duty any moment now.

 

“Hey, Nick!”

 

Nick looked up to see Clawhauser waving enthusiastically at him. The cheetah tutted at him as Nick neared the desk he worked at.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be off duty, taking care of that knee of yours?” Clawhauser peered over the desk and his fluffy chin to take in Nick’s leg.

 

“Aww, you lost some fur,” Clawhauser said sympathetically. “C’mon Nick, Bogo’s right, you shouldn’t be on any cases right now!”

 

“Relax C-hause, I’m not here for a case, just waiting for someone. And while I wait -- ” Nick lifted the lid of the box, watching in satisfaction as Clawhauser’s features lit up.

 

“Care for a donut?”

 

“O – m – goodness. Strawberry sprinkle? You know me too well, Nick! Alright, you can stick around for a few minutes, but if Bogo comes by I did _not_ condone this,” Clawhauser said, or at least Nick was pretty sure that was what he said, hard to tell what a cheetah says with a mouth full of donut. Privately, Nick thought Bogo would see straight through Clawhauser since there were currently pink sprinkles clinging to his whiskers, but he kept this to himself as just then two familiar furry ears rounded the corner.

 

Nick raised two fingers. “Peace,” he greeted Judy, who glanced up from her police report, shocked.

 

“Nick!” She bounded over. Nick rolled his eyes as the first thing she did was peer at his leg.

 

“I’m alive and well,” Nick said, plucking an orange donut out of the box. “Carrots for Carrots?” He slid his sunglasses up to more effectively waggle his eyes at her.

 

Judy smiled despite herself, accepting the donut gratefully. “Nick, you really should be at home resting,” she said. At least, Nick was pretty sure that was what she said, hard to tell what a rabbit says with a mouth full of donut.

 

“That’s a really long way to say thank you,” Nick smirked.

 

Judy rolled her eyes at him, poking him in the arm. “If you’re so rested up, guess you have no excuse to get out of getting owned at bowling night?”

 

“You mean, _you_ get a free audience to witness your spectacular gutter balls?” Nick rejoined, finally helping himself to a vanilla-bean donut. Mmm. Frosting on the inside and outside, _Roo’s O’s_ was certainly spectacular.

 

“Oh ho, what witty banter,” Clawhauser commented, making them jump in surprise. “I should have known Officer Hopps was who you were waiting for, Nicolas! Alrighty, get outta here you two, before Bogo comes by and asks what Nick is doing out of bed.”

 

Judy hopped up to grab another donut before following Nick out of the station. At the door, they waved in sync to Clawhauser.

 

“So, about these gutter balls,” Judy started up the conversation again. “Are you sure you know your bowling terminology? I mean, most animals call it a _strike.”_

“ _Spare_ me,” Nick said, licking residual frosting off his snout. “Bowling is my middle name.” Internally, Nick savored moments like these, when he and Judy could tease each other comfortably, past issues like a distant, vague spot behind them. He had a small handful of acquaintances, and an even smaller amount of friends that he truly trusted. Although that was slowly changing, it was nice to kick back with Judy – what they had was never strained, or forced. It felt natural, ironic as that was considering how unnatural it had seemed at the beginning.

 

“Really? Your name is Nick ‘Bowling’ Wilde? Do the animals at airport customs poke fun when they read your passport?”

 

Nick laughed. Then, too lazy and content to think up of a witty retort, he leaned over to tickle Judy’s sides. She whooped loudly, interpreting this as success while simultaneously trying to wriggle away.

 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, something collided violently into Nick’s chest, sending him flying backwards. He tried unsuccessfully to right himself mid-air, tumbling head over heels and landing in a heap on cold concrete. Distantly, he heard Judy’s horrified scream as he lay flat on his back, vision spinning.

 

“Wha - ” Nick wheezed, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain. His fur stood on end and all his senses were on alert, warning him that whoever had just attacked him was probably still out there. But he couldn’t bring himself to sit up just quite yet.

 

“Nick! Oh, God – Nick – HEY! Why did you hit him?! Step out of the way – he’s my friend, I need to make sure he’s okay – MOVE!”

 

Suddenly Judy was by his side. Nick’s eyes were still sealed tightly shut, but he could smell carrot frosting from her donut, mixed with the smell of lemon grass that he recognized as Judy’s scent.

 

“Nick! Wake up, oh no, no… ” Soft paws patted at his face.

 

“Mrrrgh,” he said, attempting to open his eyes. Harsh sunlight greeted him, before it was cut off by Judy’s anxious face.

 

“Nick! Are you alright?”

 

“Judy…what just happened?” Nick tried to raise himself up and winced, sinking back down. “Are you okay? Is this guy dangerous? Do we need to call this into the station?”

 

“Call – what? Oh,” comprehension dawned on Judy’s face. “He was specifically targeting you.” An uncharacteristic snarl flooded her features as she shot a dark look behind her.

 

Nick sat up again, leaning heavily on his elbows. In front of them, where they had just been walking, stood an enormous, imposing figure. It was a grey rhino, whose horn was – green? Wait, that wasn’t color, it was cloth --

 

Nick patted down his front, feeling tattered fur where his shirt normally was. Judy noticed the same time he did, her expression growing impossibly more icy.

 

“YOU!” Judy stood up from where she had been kneeling next to Nick. “Just what do you think you’re doing, and what did you mean when you said ‘I got _him’?”_

 

The rhino was staring at the two of them in bewilderment. He seemed to think nothing was wrong, except for Judy’s reaction.

 

“That fox!” The rhino jabbed his offending horn at Nick. “He was attacking you! I was trying to save you,” he said, glaring in Nick’s direction.

“What!” Judy marched forward, nose quivering in anger. Nick wasn’t sure if she was aware that she was reaching for her baton. The rhino eyed her warily, but did not step back. _Dumb move,_ Nick thought.

 

 “ _Save_ me?” Judy spat. “‘That fox’ is my _friend,_ Nick, and he was not _attacking me!_ He was just goofing around, like any animal should be able to do!”

 

“But I – but – he’s a fox! And I saw him lick his lips right before he pounced,” The rhino was starting to look afraid. _Way to get with the program,_ Nick applauded him silently in between ragged breaths. _And all this trouble over a damn delicious donut?_

 

The rhino did not know when to quit. “And you’re a – uh, you’re prey! It’s not my fault if it looked like -- ”

        

“ _Not your fault?_ You rammed your horn into his chest! That’s violence against a citizen of Zootopia, a crime punishable by law,” Judy hissed, whipping out her cuffs in one fluid motion. By now, a small yet sizeable crowd had formed around the sidewalk, as curious onlookers flocked. Judy started toward the rhino, who turned as if to flee only to find his path blocked by a stern-looking tiger. The tiger shook his head warningly at the rhino.

 

After he had been cuffed, Judy ran back to where Nick lay. He had managed to rise himself up to his knees and forced himself to get his breathing back in order before she could have time to worry.

 

“Nick, hold on,” Judy grabbed his arm before he could attempt to stand. She assessed his wounds with an expert eye while Nick tried to get the sidewalk to stop spinning. He tried to ignore the stares of the bystanders, wondering if he indeed looked as bad as they seemed to think he did.

 

“I’ll be alright,” he said, brushing away Judy’s concern in favor of standing. It still felt disconcerting to have someone look at him like that, like it would make a difference to them if he fell back down.

 

“We’re taking you to the hospital,” Judy said firmly.

 

“ _No,_ ” Nick said authoritatively, before he pitched forward. “No hospitals.” At least, Nick was pretty sure that was what he said, hard to tell what a fox says with a mouth full of sidewalk. His vision blurred, and the last thing he heard was Judy calling his name. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The restraints have probably done much more harm than good,” the doctor sighed.
> 
> Judy widened her eyes in consternation. “What do you mean?” she asked apprehensively, suddenly aware that they were on the edge of something, something dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos/comments! VIRTUAL DONUTS FOR ALL -- although about 95% of them are carrot flavored, sorry about that...blame Judy. ;)

Judy couldn’t remember the last time she had been so furious toward another animal. Flashbacks to Gideon churned in her memory, but quickly dissipated since she knew Gideon had changed now – and besides, he was a fox, and she couldn’t help but have a soft spot for them ever since she had accepted Nick as her friend.

 

Which made what the rhino had done – he gave his name to the police, but she hadn’t stayed to hear his side of the ‘story’ – all the more infuriating. She had thought animals had changed, that their perceptions of prey and predator were evolving. Surely, her parents and their acceptance of Gideon, as well as Gideon’s own behavior toward bunnies, had proved that.

 

But the events that transpired mere minutes ago showed that clearly not all animals were as welcoming. Her paws trembled in silent fury as she remembered the rhino’s consternation, _you’re prey! It’s not my fault if it looked like…_

Not his fault? ‘Looked like?’ Judy felt like hopping out the back of the moving ambulance and running back to where the police were questioning the rhino. She felt he hadn’t gotten the thrashing he deserved. However, looking beside her, Judy knew her place right now was with her injured friend.

 

She looked at where Nick lay, unmoving on the gurney, with two paramedics beside him. His shirt was in tatters, the fur where his chest was equally battered looking. The soft padding of his paws were worn where he had tried to stop his fall. She winced for him, knowing he would be in a world of pain when he woke.

 

“How is he?” she asked the paramedics, two sheep clad in uniform, urgently.

         

“He’ll be fine officer,” one of them baa-d reassuringly, placing a hoof on her knee. “Nothing critical, though he will have to recuperate in the hospital beds for a few days. A few of his ribs are broken, and his paws are badly bruised.”

 

Waves of anger swept over Judy again, making her ears stand on end. She faced away from Nick, needing to look away for a moment lest her feelings get the best of her.

 

_No. No hospitals._ Judy pondered over Nick’s words before he collapsed, wondering why he had seemed so desperate to remain away from a source of help. He must have known his injuries were bad – why had he been so anxious? The plea in his voice ruffled her fur. There was nothing she could do though, surely…after all, she had to make sure Nick’s injuries were tended to.

 

Suddenly, her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Judy checked the caller ID, distracted and ready to let it go to voicemail. However, seeing who it was, she picked up quickly.

 

“Yes, Chief Bogo?”

 

“Lt. Hopps. Just calling to update you on the situation with Sid O’rion.”

 

“Who?” Judy wrinkled her nose in confusion, still dazed by all the events that had occurred. Then she realized – “oh. _Him.”_ The cursed rhino who had started it all!

 

“Yes.” Chief Bogo’s voice sounded grim. “He’s been arrested with charges of violence and community disruption. He’ll be prosecuted for his crimes.” Bogo’s normally somber tone sounded suddenly almost gleeful. “All the witnesses at the scene of the crime are willing to testify against him.”

 

Judy knew this should be good news, but she couldn’t help the words echoing in her head – _scene of the crime._ Nick had been at the scene of the crime. No, he had _been_ the crime. An attack…her throat suddenly choked up. She had difficulty breathing.

 

“Lt. Hopps? …Judy, are you alright?”

 

“Oh. Yes, Chief I – that’s good, thank you for updating me.” Her tone must have betrayed her, for Bogo’s next words were spoken softer, though hesitatingly. “He’ll be alright, Hopps…I’ve spoken to the paramedics before they lifted Nick into the ambulance. He’ll pull through just fine.”

 

“Yes, I know,” Judy said, not knowing why tears were threatening to spill over. And in a conversation in front of the chief, no less! She tried to pull herself together. “I’ll see you at the station,” she said, hanging up before she could lose it entirely in front of her superior.

 

A loud beeping jostled her out of sadness, making Judy whirl around in alarm.

 

The sheep paramedics were suddenly bustling about the gurney, blocking Judy’s view.

 

“What’s happening?” she called urgently, as the paramedics cast wide-eyed glances at each other. She peered between them and gasped in horror. Nick was writhing on the gurney, shying away from their attempts to hold him down.

 

“We’ll have to restrain him, before he hurts himself!” One of the paramedics cried. “Quickly, now!” She gestured over to the other sheep, and together they bound Nick to the gurney. This only seemed to make his attempts to free himself stronger.

 

Judy watched on, paws on her lips and heart in her mouth. She couldn’t help thinking that the restraints were doing more harm than good, but if they didn’t keep him down Nick could hurt himself…and besides, she was a cop, not a paramedic. Who was she to tell the sheep how to do their job?

 

Thankfully, at this moment the ambulance stopped its trek across the busy streets of Zootopia. They had arrived at the hospital.

 

“Hang on, Nick,” Judy whispered as the sheep began to pull him out of the ambulance towards the hospital. Her heart panged as she saw Nick wrestling against the restraints, as if in desperate fear.

 

“Don’t hurt him!” She couldn’t help calling, not caring anymore if the sheep got affronted.

 

Though she knew Nick couldn’t hear him, she couldn’t help jogging next to the gurney while speaking to him. “You’ll be alright!”

 

* * *

 

Something was dreadfully wrong. Nick wasn’t a young cub anymore, he had grown stronger, gotten through his past…grown up. But phantom hands were pressing him down, keeping him in place. He tried to see, but his eyes were heavy with lack of energy.

 

He knew he couldn’t be in the cellar again, yet all rationale was thrown out the window as foreign voices called over him, keeping him down. Nick tried to escape them, but they were hitting him again, that was the only explanation for the pain lancing across his abdomen, chest and shoulders.

 

_No,_ he thought vehemently. _Not again. It must be a dream, it must be…a nightmare…_ but this time it was real, he was back in the basement where he had tried to become a cub scout. The others had put a muzzle on him, for he could not yell out for help – pain shot through his fur, and he knew they had started their ‘predator punishment.’

 

_Don’t let them see how much you care,_ he reminded himself, forcing himself to keep his mouth closed. _Take it silently. They can’t break you._

 

But he was alone. If he was back in the basement, had he never become a police officer of Zootopia? Never helped break a case with Judy… _Judy._ Her friendship, had it all been a dream? Was he destined to come back to the basement time and again, to grow up to be a fox hustler with only quasi-acquaintances like Finnick beside him?

 

Nick let himself go limp, overwhelmed by despair. He heard beeping and smelled the harsh sting of antiseptic. He was in the hospital now. He knew what came after this. Waking up, and realizing who he was: a fox, a sly, cunning criminal.

 

Nick kept his eyes closed, unwilling to face himself quite yet.

 

The noises of his captors had long since ceased. The room he was in was quiet. Even the beeping had dulled into the background. Nick felt sheets press around him, cold and sterile.

 

_I should have known it was all too good to be true,_ Nick told himself harshly. _Leave it to me to think up of a ridiculous future like a fox and bunny working together for the ZPD._

 

A strange, sweet aroma roused him from his self-induced sleep. Was that – donuts? The flavor smelled achingly familiar for some reason. Orange frosting swam into his mind. _Carrot donuts from Roo’s O’s,_ his mind told him.

 

He had never gone there as a cub. _Could it be -- ?_

Nick squeezed his eyes shut obstinately, determined not to wake himself from his dreams.

 

* * *

 

 

Judy sniffed into her carrot donut, letting tears overtake her for the first time since Nick had been attacked. The orange frosting crumbled onto the floor as her shoulder’s shook.

 

She was sitting next to Nick’s bed, perched on the edge of a rather hard plastic hospital chair. The donuts had been sent from Clawhauser, who had been here earlier. There was an assortment, for both Judy and Nick. The cheetah had hoped Nick would be awake by now.

 

The paramedics were also confused and worried. “Though his injuries were severe, he shouldn’t be unconscious for this long,” one of them had said. “We’ll send a doctor to look at him soon, to check for intensive head injuries. Something might have happened on the ride over.”

 

Judy sniffed again as she remembered the concerned look in their eyes, and the way they had looked at Nick as they said ‘head injuries.’ Her ears drooped in dismay and she lowered the donut, her appetite gone.

 

“Ah. Wilde, back again? And here I was starting to think we’d seen the last of you.”

 

Judy jumped as a stranger entered the room. He was a tall, spotted leopard with large square glasses on the end of his nose. The leopard’s gaze was focused on his clipboard, and Judy realized he had not yet noticed she was in the room.

 

“Oh?” The leopard looked up from the clipboard, straightening his white robes. “Who are you?”

 

“I’m Lt. Judy Hopps,” she replied, “who are you?”

 

“Wilde’s doctor, Dr. Prowl,” the leopard said, still eyeing her warily. “Here to make sure he doesn’t escape? Don’t worry, the staff is always on alert for runaway patients.”

 

“What?” Judy was shocked. “No, of course not! I’m here as his partner and friend.”

 

“Partner?” It was the leopard’s turn to look shocked. “I didn’t think Wilde would ever settle down with anyone, let alone a bunny.”

 

Judy was both parts embarrassed and affronted. “ _No,_ not his _partner_ partner. I meant his police partner. He’s an officer too.”

 

Dr. Prowl stared at her through his square lenses for a long, long minute. Judy squirmed uncomfortably. Finally, the leopard put the clipboard down next to Nick’s bed.

 

“I see,” he said, surprise coloring every word. “That’s…hmm.” The doctor suddenly leaned into Judy’s personal space, glaring avidly at her badge. “Huh. Seems legitimate.”

 

Judy pulled back. “Of course it’s legitimate!” she tried to stay professional, but this was a bit much. “Do you not believe me?”

 

Dr. Prowl suddenly looked contrite. “I apologize, officer. It’s just that – well, Nick is quite the character. It would be more like him to plan an elaborate scheme in which he is pretending to be an officer of Zootopia, and hire someone in uniform to bail him out, rather than actually become an officer.”

 

“Maybe, in the past,” Judy conceded. It seemed Nick’s hustling ways were well known by Dr. Prowl. “He’s a new fox now, though, and officially and _legitimately_ an officer of ZPD.”

 

“Huh. I admit I’m very surprised, but – ultimately, very pleased. I always told Nick he had potential, if only he would apply it.”

 

Judy was taken aback at the friendly tone in Dr. Prowl’s voice. “So…you knew Nick well?”

 

“Knew Nick?” Dr. Prowl echoed with amusement. “As much as a doctor can know a regular patient I guess. I think the only reason why I know anything about him is because he was in this hospital so often. Other than the stories his injuries have told for him, he’s a closed book. A very difficult, _mysterious_ read.”

 

Mysterious? Judy looked at where Nick lay, unmoving, and her heart sank for him. She knew his life before they had met hadn’t been very easy, but she hadn’t been aware of just how difficult it might have been. In fact, she was surprised to realize she didn’t know much about it, either.

 

Dr. Prowl looked to where she gazed, and then gasped in alarm. “What the – what are _those_ doing on him?” he rushed over to Nick’s bed, removing the restraints quickly.

 

“What? What’s the matter?” Judy asked in alarm. “He was just moving around so much when the paramedics put him on the gurney, so they used restraints to make sure he didn’t hurt himself -- ”

 

“Hurt himself?” Dr. Prowl scoffed. “Those newbie sheep. The restraints have probably done much more harm than good,” the doctor sighed.

 

Judy widened her eyes in consternation. “What do you mean?” she asked apprehensively, suddenly aware that they were on the edge of something, something dark.

 

“Nick…he’s a regular here,” the doctor admitted. “Or rather, he was, until recently when I noticed he has been injury-free for quite a while. Now I know why, as he’s gotten off the streets and into a different path.” The doctor nodded toward Judy, as if thanking her. She squirmed again, feeling like his gratitude was unnecessary.

 

“So he got injured a lot, while running cons,” Judy surmised. She guessed there were a lot of unsavory characters out there who didn’t appreciate Nick’s wily ways, or being outsmarted by a fox. Mr. Big’s ‘icing’ technique sprang into mind. Her heart suddenly felt full of fear for past Nick, though she hadn't even known him then. The image of Nick's smirk, large and sure, popped in her mind. He had seemed so confident when she had first met him, that she hadn't even questioned if that confidence had ever been shaken. 

 

“Yes…but that only happened after,” Dr. Prowl said. “The first time he was admitted was one of the worst.” Dr. Prowl shook his head sadly. “Children can be cruel.”

 

_What did_ that _mean?_ Judy frowned, frozen with apprehension.

 

Before she could ask, Dr. Prowl held up one paw. “I can’t tell you his past. I’ve already said too much – more than a doctor should about a patient. But I can see that you are his friend. However, if you want to know more about Nick, you will have to ask him yourself. I just hope he wakes up soon.”

 

“Why wouldn’t he?” Judy asked, staring.

 

But Dr. Prowl wouldn’t say anymore. He stayed silent as he peered at Nick, performing his routine check-up. “Just as I thought,” he said darkly. “Nick’s physically fine, aside from his ribs and paw. No head injuries.”

 

“But why -- ” Judy started.

Dr. Prowl turned to face her, cutting her off. “Like I said, it’s not my place to tell you. All I can say is that there are far worse injuries than those you can see. Physical marks aren’t the only kinds of scars animals can inflict on one another.”

 

“Nick said…when we were on our first case.” Judy was suddenly whispering, as if anything she said too loudly could come true. “He said he was attacked when he was younger. Could the impact by the restraints be connected to what happened then? When he was m - ” _Muzzled._ Judy couldn’t bring herself to say the word aloud.

 

Dr. Prowl stayed silent for so long Judy wasn’t sure if he was going to answer.

 

Finally, he said, “I will only tell you this because you are the first animal I have ever seen by Nick’s bedside when he has been in here. It’s hard to make friends to gravitate toward him in his line of occupation, but additionally – he doesn’t seem to give them a chance in the first place. The fact that you are here must mean a great deal, to the both of you.”

 

Judy nodded, clutching the carrot donut so tightly in her paws that it crumbled in a sugary heap onto the floor, ignored by them both.

 

Dr. Prowl sat down heavily on the chair adjacent to her. His face was grave. Up close, Judy noticed several silver whiskers sprouted amongst his yellow fur. She wondered if animals’ cases like Nick’s past were partly responsible for them.

 

“I will only tell you what I know from treating him for his injuries…there is still much he left unsaid. And, only a short account…the rest you will have to hear from him himself.”

 

Judy nodded. A slow sense of dread was creeping up on the room, like a tangible shadow. She would do anything to help Nick, but before Dr. Prowl continued she couldn’t help the sense of fear she felt in hearing this truth that had been so long kept secret.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Judy’s ears drooped. She remembered Nick’s golden rule: don’t let them ever see that they got to you. Oh, Nick…what happened today had been the worst kind of thing, a reinforcement of a lesson learned while young._
> 
> Just a quick little update for you guys -- because I am still very busy but YOU ARE ALL AMAZING! Thank you, each and every one of you, for the kudos and lovely comments. 
> 
> I apologize for how long it's taken me to update...and for how long it may take for a next chapter. I'm working on writing faster but I have a lot of projects up in the air and not enough time, or tasty donuts, to help me through it ):

“Did Nick tell you he wanted to join the Junior Ranger Scouts?”

Dr. Prowl was sitting across from Judy. They were beside the still sleeping Nick, whose face remained blissfully smooth and unwrinkled by nightmares. Judy hoped the tranquility would last.

“Yes,” she answered. That was all she really knew, actually. That Nick had gone into the basement of his so-called friends, who were apparently going to induct him into their troupe that night. Judy gritted her teeth. What kind of self-respecting Zootopian laid a trap so tightly wound in hope?

“After it became clear to Nick that he wasn’t going to be welcomed into the club…he tried to escape. But they tied him down and muzzled him.”

Tied him down? It was a detail that Nick had omitted when he told Judy his story. The reason for the restraints causing him to panic became more clear to her now.

“They didn’t just stop there,” Dr. Prowl was continuing. “They told Nick that he was a predator, and that meant he could never belong in a group with prey. It’s a very scarring thing, to be told who you are is not good enough at such a young age.”

Judy nodded, remembering her own experiences by being pushed down by a fox. She had been called a dumb bunny, but she had had friends and family that supported her. Animals she knew she could fall back on, could trust. Nick, it seemed, hadn’t had anyone.

Dr. Prowl sighed. His spotted fur seemed ruffled, although they were indoors and there was no breeze.

“I’m not sure what was worse when I saw him, the beating he received or the words that seemed ingrained in him. He was so afraid when he was admitted here, but he kept saying he wouldn’t be treated by anyone but a predator. I think he was trying to put on a brave face, to pretend he was as narrow-minded as the animals that turned on him. Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to admit that he wasn’t – and that that had hurt him.”

Judy’s ears drooped. She remembered Nick’s golden rule: don’t let them ever see that they got to you. Oh, Nick…what happened today had been the worst kind of thing, a reinforcement of a lesson learned while young. She knew Nick’s induction into the police force and partnering with her were great strides in his perception of himself. And yet, the fact that rhinos kept doing what they encountered today could only set back his healing.

She hoped Bogo locked up the rhino for a good, long while. No amount of bail could be sufficient to appease her anger.

“Will Nick be okay?” She asked, voice low and scratchy. She gestured to where Nick lay. “I mean…the paramedics said he had a few contusions, fur patches and some broken ribs…” Her voice shook, but she forced herself to breathe. “It’s – it’s horrible. But nothing life threatening. When he wakes, though…will he be okay?”

She knew Dr. Prowl would know what she was asking.

Dr. Prowl looked over at Nick also. They watched his chest rise and fall in time to the beeping on the monitor. He looked so small where he lay, Judy realized. His bravado and cocky exterior had hid him well.

“I hope so,” Dr. Prowl said finally. “Having animals like you by his side will help.” Dr. Prowl smiled at her. “I’m glad he’s found someone like you in his life. I’m sure you had a great deal to do with his becoming an officer of Zootopia.”

Judy felt herself blush. She shrugged, but she was grateful to hear Dr. Prowl say it. It made her feel stronger, as if she would be able to help Nick when he woke. She just hoped it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter despite it being so short and I will try my best to update soon!
> 
> I wanted to at least get Nick's backstory out there. Next chappie will feature Nick's POV and maybe he will finally wake up! ;)
> 
> <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Easy, easy…here. Drink this.” A half-filled cup of water came into Nick’s vision, carried by one small, furry paw._
> 
>  
> 
> _A rabbit paw._
> 
>  
> 
> _Hope blossomed in Nick’s chest; a small flower tentatively defying the cold._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did the rhino have road rage?
> 
> Because he honked but no one was listening to his horn. 
> 
> Just a little joke I made for you guys. Not sure if the bad pun is a reward for being sweet readers or actually accidental punishment. Oops…just know that I love y’alls. 
> 
> And now, sleeping beauty wakes up!

Nick was aware of people talking around him, but their voices are murky. It was if he was underwater, in a sort of self-induced drowning until he was ready to breathe again. 

 

Pain zinged across his chest, fading in and out like a fiery wave. But lanced through it all Nick could feel the familiar buzz of medications that soothed him, rocking him back to unconsciousness. 

 

He was still not sure where he was. Or who he was. Or how much he dared hope.

 

Nick was aware that most of his life had been led by dreams. When he was younger, the small one of becoming a Junior Ranger. When that one no longer became a possibility, he switched to hustling, dreaming of fortune and infamy. And then Judy came into his life, one sassy hop at a time, sweeping him into her dream of becoming a great cop for Zootopia.

 

It was a dream he’d actually managed to achieve, so it was not hard for Nick to believe it was too good to be true. 

 

A little part of him was sure that he couldn’t be dreaming, that it didn’t make sense. He knew things he didn’t know before. His injuries came from — a rhino. He knew that much, and he had never been attacked by a rhino when he was on the streets.

 

He was not smart enough to dream Judy up, to conjure such details on whim. Or maybe, he was smart enough not to. It would be too easy to wish for. 

 

So he was pretty sure he was Nick Wilde, of Zootopia ZPD, not Nick Wilde, two hustles and a half. But he’d rather not know for sure than be certain of something that could hurt him.

 

_Dr. Prowl would know,_ Nick thought to himself. Dr. Prowl was one of the few honest people Nick knew. _He would tell me the truth._

 

Nick felt time slip by like the slide of an ice cream scoop, slipping slowly, slowly off the edge of the cone, melting away in an indeterminable pace. Every now and then someone opened and closed the door to his room, as if leaving to get food or go to the bathroom. 

 

Nick couldn’t think of who would be in here with him, hustling days or otherwise. Finnick wouldn’t dare, and Judy…if she existed, surely she wouldn’t wait all night. Nick couldn’t imagine why she would wait around for a predator like him. 

 

So whoever it was felt like a ghost, some fabrication of Nick’s brain conjured up to comfort and confuse him. 

 

Yet each time the person returned, Nick felt a little bit of consciousness come back to him. He started to register the needle tucked shallowly into his fur, feeding him the soothing medicine. He felt sunlight dappled across his lids as the long night turned back into day. 

 

Warmth spread across his chest as someone placed a blanket on his bare torso. Instead of comforting Nick, the soft fabric alarmed him. Never before had he been treated with such tenderness. Nick knew what really motivated soft things, be they smiles or blankets or words — it was the aim to please, to attain what another had. 

 

It was the oldest, simplest trick in the book. Nick had mastered it years before he had even met Finnick, all on his own. 

 

Nick’s eyes snapped open. At first, all that greeted him was the plain white ceiling, the hospital’s brand of decor. Then, outside of his vision, someone gasped audibly. 

 

“Nick? Are you awake?”

 

_He knew that voice._

 

Nick blinked twice, hesitant and eager each time.

 

“Ju —” Nick’s raspy voice died in his dry throat. There was a soft, hurried pattering of footsteps on the floor near him, and then —

 

“Easy, easy…here. Drink this.” A half-filled cup of water came into Nick’s vision, carried by one small, furry paw. 

 

A rabbit paw.

 

Hope blossomed in Nick’s chest; a small flower tentatively defying the cold. 

 

Nick accepted the drink, wincing slightly when the movement pulled at the IV in his arm. 

 

“Judy?” Nick tried again, not daring to turn his head and actually look. He needed to hear her voice again. _God, if I’m wrong, please let Dr. Prowl not ask me about this,_ Nick thought. The older doctor already ruffled his fur sometimes with all his questions about Nick and why he wouldn’t stop hustling. _You’re a smart fox, Nick,_ the doctor would say. _But you’re doing a stupid thing._

 

There was a beat of silence. Nick measured it in shallow breaths. _One, two, three —_

 

“Yeah, it’s me,” the animal next to him said slowly, as if she were the one confused, not Nick.

 

“Oh, thank God,” Nick said aloud, before he could stop himself. He covered for himself by taking noisy sips of water, hoping that Judy hadn’t heard him, knowing that she had. 

 

“Nick, I’m so glad you’re awake.” The voice sounded slightly sniffly now. He recognized that tone, the same one Judy had used when she asked him to forgive her and work on the missing animals case with her again. Nick wanted to smile, thought about how absurd it had been, the thought that he could ever have imagined her. 

 

“Judy,” Nick said. Let the name lie on his tongue, heavy with truth. She was really here. He was really a ZPD officer. Nick shut his eyes, overcome with relief. 

 

“Wait, Nick —? Don’t go back to sleep!” 

 

Judy sounded worried, so Nick opened his eyes again. This time, he chanced a look.

 

Judy looked like a mess, her large violet eyes moist and creased sleepily. Her usually perky ears were at half-mast, and even her tail seemed to be less fluffy than usual. 

 

She was still wearing her ZPD uniform, and Nick realized with a start that he didn't know what that meant, didn’t know what day it was. If she had been waiting all night, was it simply the next morning? Or was she here after a shift at work?

 

“Ah — what time is it?” Nick struggled to sit up. He slipped back down with a gasp when a pang of pain hit him. It traveled from his ribs straight up to his head. Nick sucked in a breath, riding out the pain.

 

“It’s nine-thirty in the morning — hey, are you alright?” Judy’s face loomed over his, her nose crinkled in worry.

 

“I’m okay,” Nick said when he finally trusted his voice not to waver. “Don’t worry, I’ve had much worse,” Nick said reassuringly, but rather than appease Judy this answer seemed to worry her more.

 

“What’s wrong?” Nick asked, voice still slightly raspy from disuse. Now that he was truly awake and his injuries, though painful, did not seem life threatening…and now that Judy was there, legitimatizing his new life, Nick felt a bit more relaxed. He still didn’t like hospitals, but he didn’t feel that alarmed for some reason. 

 

Judy was silent for a moment. “You don’t seem particularly concerned that so much time has passed,” she said finally. “You’ve been out cold for almost twenty-four hours. Do you remember what happened to you?”

 

_Just another injury on the job,_ Nick thought, and then he caught himself. It wasn’t _that_ job that granted him one gurney ride into this hospital…it was his legitimate one. Funny, how he had seemed to trade one dangerous job for another. 

 

The factions of Nick’s past and present slid chronologically into place in Nick’s mind, taking their time as he waded through his confusion. He wasn’t here because he had gotten into a tiff with Finnick, or because some animal didn’t appreciate his sense of humor…it was…

 

“A rhino,” Nick said, and then it all came back to him. The memory hit Nick hard, as if he was reliving the accident over again. He frowned deeply as he remembered _why_ the rhino had charged at him in the first place. 

 

“That’s right,” Judy said, and she sounded angry. As angry as she had been when she figured out what Assistant Mayor Bellwhether was up to. 

 

_This isn’t as dramatic as all that,_ Nick wanted to say. Instead, he said, “Are you alright? The rhino didn’t charge at you too, did he?”

 

Judy stared. “No, the rhino didn’t — I’m _fine,_ — what about _you?”_

 

Nick gazed steadily back. “What about me?”

 

“How are you,” Judy gestured at his chest, at all of him, “okay?”

 

“I’m not just okay, I’m _fine,”_ Nick said saucily, and _there,_ his knack for humor came back to save the day. Nick felt his usual veneer of confidence brimming back up again, setting the walls into place. The ghost of his past was gone, for now.

 

Judy looked taken aback. She stepped closer, and then placed one paw gently over his. 

 

“I’m glad,” she said sincerely. “But if you ever need to talk. I’m more than happy to listen.”

 

Nick stared, bewildered. “Uh, you alright Carrots? It was just a couple busted ribs and a headache. I’ll live, you know.”

 

Judy looked away when she spoke. “I’m not talking about physical injuries.” She stared down at their paws, still intertwined. “That rhino hurt you…because you are — ” Judy closed her lips, unwilling to even speak the word anymore.

 

“A predator?” Nick finished easily. “It’s okay, Judy. It happens. I can’t expect animals to change their minds overnight. This isn’t the first time this has happened, and it won’t be the last, and that’s okay — ”

 

“ _No,_ it’s _not okay,”_ Judy snapped. Nick blinked, surprised.

 

Judy looked abashed, putting her empty paw over her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she said, her words slightly muffled. “I’m not angry at you, I just — I’m frustrated,” she sighed. “You shouldn’t have to be this patient. It shouldn’t have to be this hard, to get along.” Her shoulders drooped.

 

“Hey, hey,” Nick cajoled. “I know, it isn’t ideal — it’s pretty sucky, actually.” He gave her a sad smile. “But believe it or not, I’m pretty much used to it by now. It was a surprise, for all this to happen again when I’m an officer now, but I wasn’t wearing a uniform, so…”

 

“That shouldn’t have to make a difference,” Judy said fiercely. “After everything you’ve done for Zootopia, after everything that’s happened to you — ” she broke off, freezing.

 

Nick stilled. He knew what she was referring to. The moment in the basement he had told her about when they were on the lift. He had only told her a little, and he was surprised she was so heavily impacted by that small amount.

 

“That’s in the past,” he said calmly. “I don’t even think about it anymore,” he lied.

 

“Oh, Nick,” Judy said, and she looked sad. “It was incredibly unfair, and you didn’t deserve it. Any of it,” she stressed.

 

“It’s alright,” Nick said. _You told me this before._ “Why are you bringing this up now?”

 

“Because,” Judy said, as if it were obvious. “I don’t want whatever the rhino did to — to stir up any — I just want you to be — ”

 

“Judy,” Nick interrupted. “What are you not telling me?”

 

Judy looked away, almost _guiltily._ And that just didn’t sit right, because when did Judy, of all animals, have to be guilty of anything? 

 

Nick narrowed his eyes. “Have you been talking to Dr. Prowl?” It was the only explanation. 

 

“What?” Judy’s eyes widened. “How…”

 

“I am a detective, you know,” Nick said dryly. He pulled his paw out from under hers. 

 

“Wait, Nick — I didn’t mean to pry,” Judy said quickly, noticing. “I was just worried when you didn’t wake up.”

 

Nick wasn’t sure why he was so upset. So Judy knew. Knew that what happened in the basement had affected him more than he had let on, that the words had clearly bothered him enough to keep him in a stress-induced sleep even to this day. That didn't mean there was a target on his back, and she certainly was not holding the bow. 

 

But it was _private._ And Dr. Prowl had _no right to tell her._ The leopard didn’t even know her, not really. And it was like they had exchanged information about him while his back had been turned, and that was never a good feeling. Nick should be glad that the two people who had placed some amount of faith in him had finally met. Instead, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed.

 

But showing even that much emotion would be like admitting he cared. And while Nick had started to unravel his walls in the time he knew Judy, he wasn’t about to let go of the very principle that had granted him survival all those other years. _Don’t show them how much they get to you._

 

The mistake, Nick realized, was forgetting that even Judy could become one of ‘them’.

 

So, “It’s alright,” Nick said, plastering a smile over his snout. “It’s fine.” He glanced away from her, and in doing so saw the open box on the table next to them.

 

“Oh, great! Donuts,” Nick said, reaching for the box and ignoring the sharp twinge in his wounded side the same way he ignored the crestfallen look on Judy’s face. Nick made his eyes light up at the sight of the box, as if he didn’t remember that the stupid donuts were the reason why he was here in the first place. Donuts, and that rhino.

 

“Clawhauser sent them,” Judy said, her voice almost a whisper. 

 

“Text him I say thanks,” Nick enthused, biting down on a vanilla bean. 

 

“Nick — ” Judy began, but Nick pretended he didn’t hear her. 

 

—————————-

 

Judy watched as Nick munched away on a donut, looking carefree. If it weren’t for the bandages peeking out from underneath the blanket she had placed on him earlier, she wouldn’t have believed he was even hurt.

 

Judy couldn’t believe how well Nick played the game. She knew that he could, knew she had met him when he was in the middle of a play. He had successfully tricked her, after all. Judy had thought Nick was a father just looking out for his little cub. 

 

But that was supposed to be all in the past. Sure, Nick was still charming and confident, cavalier and just on the edge of sly, but that attitude came out in the form of jokes and good-natured ribbing about how much she loved orange things, and other stupid, silly, small stuff. Not disguises, not _lies._

 

_I’m not just okay, I’m_ fine. And then Nick had winked, smooth and suave and _not actually happy._

 

How had Judy not seen it before? How many times had she automatically translated _charming_ as  _pleased_ and left it at that?

 

_Oh, thank God,_ Nick had said when Judy announced herself, as if he hadn’t even believed she would be there. The obvious relief in his voice cut off any words she had been about to say. 

 

But Judy deserved that lie about Nick being okay. Of course he was not okay. She had just rooted around in his past like he was just another missing persons folder on her desk. Like she had been ordered to figure out how much she knew about him, just to find him and get him back.

 

And in a way, that _was_ what Judy had tried to do. Dr. Prowl had given her information so she could understand Nick better, and help him when he came back from dreaming. 

 

But did that make it right? What was that saying, that all roads to hell are paved with good intentions?

 

_Ugh._ Judy wrinkled her nose. _I’m getting too morbid about this. The solution is simple. I need to apologize._

 

And she wanted to, had called out Nick’s name. But he was clearly steadfast on ignoring her. 

 

Guilt, laden with exhaustion, descended on her. This was really her fault. She was the one who had asked Dr. Prowl to give her more information, even though he had warned her that he couldn’t tell her everything. How would she feel if Nick had been the one to ask about her past while she was unconscious?

 

_Well, not that bad, actually,_ Judy thought. But that was because she had nothing to hide. No scars left to fester, ignored by caring hands. In fact, she was pretty proud of her past, because it proved how much she had accomplished. It couldn’t be done, this comparison thing. Not when she didn’t share the same nuances in her history as Nick.

 

_I’ll give it some time,_ she thought to herself. _As much as I can’t understand, I’m trying to. And that’s what matters. I just hope Nick sees it the same way._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High five if you caught the lil’ symbolism in “half-filled cup” and “hope blossomed in Nick’s chest.” Like, Nick became optimistic so he viewed the cup as half-full and not half-empty. I’m unduly proud of sneaking that in hehe.


End file.
